The Circle of (Daily) Life

So there are a few days, okay, many days when I wonder just what it is that I'm supposed to be doing in this world because the circle of (daily) life seems so unimportant--wake up, think of what food to make, make it, eat, cleanup, play with child, rest, do it again...and again...and again. The other day, Joe and I made a nice dinner complete with side dishes and all. It took hours of preparation (at various times of the day) in order to be ready and then we sat down to eat and in, oh, about eight minutes the meal was over and it was time to clean the sinkful of dishes. True, the food had tasted good and I felt like it was a balanced meal but it felt like all the effort didn't result in much satisfaction or at least not lasting satisfaction since one of the three of us was bound to be hungry within an hour. So why? Why do we need the circle of daily life? Can't clothes stay clean for a month at a time and food just fix itself? I guess it's food for thought...(pun intended). :)

As you look at the pictures on our blog, please realize that the majority of the time I am doing one of the mundane parts of my circle of daily life and Joe is at work repeating his own circle of daily life. We don't take a lot of pictures of us doing those things. Come to think of it, this blog is like looking back on my mission pictures. If you look at my pictures, it seems like all I did was sightsee, stand around and smile with groups of friends, or go bowling (I did get really good!), but the reality was that the pictures represent about 2% of what I did in Japan. Most of the time I was too busy learning Japanese or teaching about Jesus Christ to take pictures. I did take two or three completely staged pictures at the very end of my time as a full-time missionary trying to show what we really did there but I could never quite catch the reality. I would post those pictures here as a reference but (should I admit it?) that was before digital cameras were a part of my life.

Instead, I'll show you what Xavier did when he saw his cousin, Baby Izzy, for the first time last week. We planned to spend one night in Oakland to see her but Xavier was playing so well and went to bed so easily the first night that I asked if we could stay another day. For future reference, this is a BAD parental move. Stick with your original plan and go home while your hosts still remember that they enjoyed having you, not when you stretch it until the meltdown stage or the loud and crazy stage (we hit both--sorry Ben and Esther!). Joe and I have been trying to convince Xavier that there really is no baby in Aunt Esther's belly anymore. He's getting close to believing us now but you should have seen the look on his face when I told him his babysitter, Hilary, has a baby in her belly now. I think he's going to check my source!

Hmmmm...interesting little specimen. A girl huh? I wonder what that means?

Xavier really enjoyed his few moments we let him close to eight-day-old Izzy. See the finger he is holding back? He really wanted to touch her. I let him touch her head but no where else. He told us tonight (a week later) that Baby Izzy has eyes but "no touch!" What a good memory!

Isn't she a cutie? She is so expressive and loves to furrow her eyebrows and look around already.

Visiting the "fish"

Keeping a two-year-old stimulated is no easy task and with all the cold, gloomy weather here this summer, Xavier and I have stayed inside a lot lately. My wake up call to the fact that Xavier needs more physical activity during the day came the other morning when he woke up at 2:30am and stayed up for twelve hours (until his naptime at 2pm). I tried to get him back to sleep for a while, then went into the front room with him to let him play a bit in the hopes he would go back to sleep but our Energizer bunny just kept going...and going...and going all day. I crashed on the couch around 6 am and Joe got up 20 min later and said he found Xavier just running around in circles in the front room! I set a new goal to get out and get him active and, almost as if my friends knew what I needed, we were soon after invited to a playdate at the aquarium! It was great to see our three two-year-olds run around together and wear themselves out. Next stop? Jump 'N Around or My Museum. Any takers?

Pictures in the clam shell.

The Splash Zone play area.

Xavier also loves activities that use lots of hands-on work like stamping papers with all my stamps, doing dishes, or making collages with magazine pictures. Here he is making a giant cookie with a one-of-a-kind pattern made by placing cookie cutter after cookie cutter into the dough.

He was very proud of his creation and we all munched on it after it was baked!

Parenting 201

I'm always on the lookout for how I want to parent. Sometimes I learn things by experience and other times books, people, or talking about situations give me good ideas. I've been reading a great book by Adele Farber (and another author who I can't remember) called something like "How to talk so your kids will listen and how to listen so your kids will talk". It is really helpful in teaching how to acknowledge your child's feelings, not just push the feelings away or just respond to their words or actions. Joe was a good sport and did the exercises in the book with me so I could practice because it is actually tough to think so differently on the spot!

I never realized that the need for our feelings to be understood is so powerful. The other day (before I read the book), I told X we were going shopping and he got upset and kept saying "no, no, no shopping!" I just figured he didn't really mean "no" and that he'd perk up once we got there but I was wrong. He was mad the whole trip and made shopping really hard. If I had listened and talked about his not wanting to go, he might have calmed down and I might have spared myself the embarrassment of a screaming child in the store or I could have even figured out a better time to go...without him. So today I tried really listening and responding to X's feelings and here's what happened:

#1: We were waiting for an appt. and X was playing with some toys. I was filling out paperwork and assumed he was still playing at the table in front of me until I looked up and saw that he was gone. A second later I saw him with panic on his face, looking for me. I called his name and he burst into loud crying when he saw me. My instinct was to say "You're ok, you're ok" but instead I thought of what I could say about how he was feeling. So I cuddled him and said, "You were scared when you couldn't find mommy." That was it. He nodded and calmed right down. After a little more cuddling, I told him I'd stay in the chair and he could stay with me or play with the toys. He chose me, so a few minutes later we moved to the kids table together so he could play and that was that. A happy child again. :)

#2: I asked X if he wanted a bite of my broccoli and cheese at lunch. He said no, so I put it in my mouth. Not surprisingly, he started yelling "mine! my cheese!" My first thought was "Sorry kiddo, I already put it in my mouth" but instead I offered him more from my plate. He was mad. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!! THAT one!!!!!! (pointing at my mouth). I stopped to think of how to respond to his feelings. "You wanted the broccoli and cheese." He wails loudly, "yeahhhhh". "You wanted to eat it but it went in mommy's tummy, down, down, down." He started laughing at the thought and repeated "Down, down,down." Then I offered him more broccoli from my plate so it could go down, down, down in his tummy. He accepted. Crisis over. :)

#3: X finished his lunch and played with his cars out on the deck after a reminder that he would soon be taking a nap. His response: no nap! I cleaned up the dishes and got on the computer and then he brought a blanket to me and said, "Mommy, nap". I said I wasn't tired and he went and got up on the couch with the blanket and said it again. This time it clicked. I went over and asked him if HE was tired. "Uh-huh." I asked him if he wanted me to take a nap with him. "Uh-huh." A few minutes later he was sound asleep on the couch and I was free to do my own things. :)

I think this is a wonderful way to listen and talk with kids. I can't wait to find out what's next in the book! My favorite part so far is when the authors remind readers that to have a happy family you must permit the airing of a lot of unhappiness. It's such an unusual thought but it makes so much sense! Wish us luck as we move on to Chapter 2!

The news we've been waiting for!

My brother and sister-in-law finally have their little girl! Esther Isrielle Ione (Izzy) came 12 days late but was healthy and alert when she was born at 11:33 am on Aug 13th. What a cutie! Congratulations!!!!!

What a week!

We spent a week driving everywhere and visiting almost everyone and now that we're home we are tired!

Here's a rundown of the events we did in one week: driving 7 hours to meet up with Joe's mom in southern California before carpooling all the way to Utah a day later; meeting up with Joe's dad in St. George and hanging out with Bryce's family; having breakfast with my parents in Bountiful and playing with chalk on the court with my nieces and nephews; preparing a picture display at Gma Hope's house in Salt Lake for an 80th birthday celebration for Joe's grandpa; rushing to the birthday celebration and getting to learn all about Gma and Gpa Banks; visiting Gma and Gpa Robison for breakfast and getting to see part of Beijing's Olympic Opening Ceremonies with them (VERY impressive); meeting up with all the Banks families for pictures; getting up early to head back home but stopping for a nap in St. George since Joe and I were feeling sleep-deprived (yes, we did stay up late watching Lost but I think it was having to get up early that did us in!); stopping for a day in Moreno Valley so I could write a paper for finals and hoping that Joe's dad could fix our car's AC (he did and air conditioning is heavenly!); and finally, driving home in about six and a half hours with only one quick pit stop (even with a 2 yr old in tow).

Xavier was a great traveler although when we got home he burst into tears and wanted me to hold him for a long time. I think he missed some of the physical contact we usually have during naps, bedtime, etc. All in all we had a great trip...we know because we are totally exhausted now! :) Thanks Tina and Ken for taking us with you!

A few moments we caught on camera during the week: Zelia convinced Xavier that the cold water in the "hot" tub was a great place to play on a hot summer day...and she was right!

Xavier was fascinated by little cousin, Gweny, and was very happy to see his Granddad and his older cousins again. He loved stepping on the stones in the back of the flower garden.
Although printer problems made us late to the 80th birthday celebration, we did make it and our poster board looked great! Joe is the oldest grandson on his dad's side of the family and we had both Zelia and Xavier with us--the only two great-grandchildren. Needless to say, everyone loved them!

This kids picture is the best of about 10 pictures we took. It is amazing we got one where everyone is sitting up, a few are actually smiling, and no one is running away!

We always feel special with Grandma and Grandpa Robison. I always love to check the "cousin" pictures to see how everyone else's families are doing. I think we all need to update, though!

And at the end of it all...

What did he say?!

Xavier is getting so much better with saying what he wants but there are still a few alphabet sounds that trip him up. Tonight, we had fresh corn for dinner. He loves watching us shuck the corn and even liked the taste last time we had it (yay!), so he was ready for his share this night and said, "I want corn!" It's a great request except that he can't say the "c" sound yet, so it comes out as a "p". Yep. So all through the meal, we listen to him talk about his mispronounced version of "corn", attempting the whole time to get him to say the right sound, and feeling really grateful that no one is over for dinner tonight! Another sound he has trouble with is "f". It comes out more like "sh". So, whenever he says "fish" it sounds more like a bad word that starts with "s". Another one, which is not as bad as the others, is drums, which he calls "bums." Although I understand that he will learn the right sounds eventually, I'm not sure other adults who don't get an explanation would understand why we "let" him say such words! I guess I just have to hope that nothing prompts him to say "corn" or "fish" in public!

We all fall down...

The other day I was walking toward Trader Joe's (the store where we Xavi's goat milk, soydogs, etc.) and I stepped into a side street just before the store, carrying Xavier in front of me when all of a sudden I tripped and fell face first. I'm so thankful for natural instincts that made me protect Xavier's head from the gravel (although we knocked heads in the process) and I'm so thankful I didn't break my hand or squash Xavier. I still can't figure out what happened but I know we were lucky there were no cars coming down the alley and (here's my self-conscious side coming out) I was so glad only one person happened to see it. It is normally such a busy area but it was early in the day and there was only one truck driver who saw it and he was nice enough to stop and make sure we were okay. Whew!

Visiting with Grandma Linda

Yesterday we were able to go up to the Oakland/Alameda area to visit my mom who had flown in from Florida to help with Ben and Esther's baby. Baby Izzie (Isrielle), however, has been a little nervous about coming out and has not made her appearance quite yet. It was a beautiful day, though, so we all went for a walk, let Xavier play at the park, and then watched kite surfers at the beach on the way home. Xavier kept looking for the ducks that visit Ben and Esther's apt. for food but Ben told us they think they had babies. We saw at least 12 ducklings hidden between the two ducks above. Can you see them?

It has been a while since Xavier saw Grandma Linda but after a few minutes of cuddles with me, he warmed right up. He held her finger on the walk, read his pirate book with her, and they worked on his ABC puzzle together. He kept singing the ABC song but since he doesn't like to perform for anyone, every time we tried to get it on camera he would stop.

At the park


Mom teaching us a new game with dice where the winner rolls enough to get to 10,000 points. Guess who won?

Babies and more babies

You know, I think of so many interesting blog titles and things to write about when I'm busy during the day but when I actually have a moment to blog, my mind goes blank. I have the same dilemma with journal writing. I've always wished that I could just get a printout from my brain; it would be so much easier and so much more insightful!

I got to take a quick trip to Utah to attend one of my sisters' baby shower. It was great to see so many of my siblings and get to chance to catch up with them more. And I loved holding my oldest sister's brand-new baby girl. Joe took great care of Xavier while I was gone but it surprised me how relieved I felt to be back with them and how happy I was to see them safe and sound. I got a few pictures at the baby shower but I forgot to get a picture of Shelly showing off her baby bump. Still, maybe you can tell which one she is by the "pregnancy" glow above her! :)

Shelly made this cute arrangement for her shower. What a masterpiece! And she says she's a novice...